In this episode, Daniel looks at the unique issues faced by musicians in balancing a passion for their craft while sustaining long term relationships.
What’s covered in this session:
- The different types of relationships that can be affected by a musician’s life.
- Daniel outlines some of the difficulties of being in a relationship as a musician, including:
- Unusual work hours (compared to the typical “9 to 5” job scenario).
- Extensive travel, and/or long periods away from home.
- A career that requires a lot of attention in the form of creative energy, practice, etc., which can subtract from time spent with a partner.
- A job that is social in nature, which can blur the line between work and play.
- The presence of alcohol in the work environment.
- Audience feedback (or the lack thereof), which can lead to altered sense of ego and/or a lack of confidence.
- All of the above can create barriers between ourselves and our partner, and even lead to infidelity.
- Daniel suggests ways to successfully navigate these difficulties and make relationships stronger, including:
- Be totally honest with yourself and your partner about what you want out of life.
- Be aware that not all partners can handle the “unusual” life of a musician.
- Choose a “flexible partner,” who’s willing to enjoy the “special moments” of a relationship in alternate ways and alternate times.
- Share your musical life with your partner.
- Compromise: Be willing to ask for what you want, but be prepared to provide what you partner needs as well.
- Prove yourself every day by working toward your musical goals. Make yourself worthy of your partner’s love and trust.
- Make a “check-in” schedule to stay in contact with your partner when traveling.
- Don’t be swayed by your environment. Surround yourself with colleagues who are living their lives the the same way you want to.
- Recognize the steps that can lead to infidelity, and stop them before they start.
- Never stop developing your own integrity as a person.
- The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz is one of most impactful books I’ve ever read. It helps us understand how to free ourselves from beliefs and agreements that we have made with ourselves and others that create limitations and unhappiness in our lives.
- The book Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat provides key insights to finding true romantic potential, and advocates honesty, trust, and integrity–the fundamentals of love.